Humor, Procrastination, and the Use of Sharp Objects

Category: Novels |

One thing I’ve never lacked is a sense of humor.  Now, admittedly, my humor runs in two basic categories, either so subtle and droll that a lot of people miss it completely or else a bit over the top — the top of many people’s heads, that is.  In the latter category, usually only among friends now, I like to do set-ups, then, after a bit of frothing and flogging starts from my audience, come galloping in with “the zinger”…which gets the majority giving up farcical smiles and grins as they realize they’ve been “had.”  Of course, there are always those few who miss out completely, and then, of course, I must smooth ruffled feathers…if I can. 

You can always tell when I’m procrastinating, though.  Because that’s when I initiate my most serious and attentive “cutting up.” <– (Pay attention to that phrase, now!)  It’s when I hit forums, singling out the unsuspecting with my jolliness and droll routines.  And that’s what I’m doing a bit today — procrastinating and drool…er…drolling. :D  I keep flogging myself, whipping up a good, stiff, disciplining regimen, only to slip away and go back to torturing unsuspecting souls innocently surfing the wide and steamy waters of the Internet.

So why the procrastination?  I’m working on a very difficult novel using sharp objects to clean out the rot, pare away the under- and overgrowth, slice away the spurs and erratic side shoots.  Once I’m done, I’ll have probably 60,000 usable words, set in extraordinary, stimulating scenes.  Then it will be a matter of filling in the blanks…of which there are a couple, especially the “squishy” scenes where the “bad guys/gals” are setting themselves up to render their sagging immorality into flush-able waste.  “Squishy” scenes are not something I do lightly.  I’m not fond of dwelling in the rotten, seamy world spawned of lust, lewdness and insatiable desires.  I write it well — can make you squirm until you are looking for the Pepto-Bismol® — but, as I write them, and then edit them, I too am sipping “the pink stuff.”

Well, enough procrastinating…which is also what I’m doing here.  Back to slashing with sharp things. :D



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